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About Osijek

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the streets of Kastel-Novi, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, who knew people could walk so slow? I’m talking about the main drag, Ulica Kralja Tomislava. It’s a beautiful street, lined with cafes and shops, but I’m just trying to get to the lab.

The fate of Captain Buzov